English Joke - Coins

Download: 9979.mp3

A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."

The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"

The first guy says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them."

 
 
 
 Good News & Bad News
Download: 9980.mp3

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
 
 
 
 The Frog & The Engineer
Download: 9981.mp3
 
An engineer was taking a walk when a frog spoke to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I'll become your girlfriend."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

The frog spoke again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll become your wife."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket again, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog said, "What is the matter? I'm a beautiful princess. Why won`t you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm a busy engineer. I don`t have time for a girlfriend or a wife, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
 
 
Love & Marriage
Download: 9982.mp3
People often enjoy joking about love and marriage.

Here is a joke about the first three years of marriage.
  • In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
  • In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks and the man listens.
  • In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Here's another joke about marriage.

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Now let's listen to a couple of riddles about marriage.

Here's the first one.

Q: Why are men with pierced ears better suited for marriage?
A: Because they have suffered and bought jewelry.

Here's another riddle.

Q: What are the 3 important rings in life?
A: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

I'll end today's podcast with a humorous proverb-like saying.

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.